Emily,

Emily,

Do you believe it’s possible
to be dominated
and respected
simultaneously?
I’m interested
in getting to know you better.
I felt endeared, repulsed
and bemused
viewing your photos.
I spend a lot of time
thinking about
tits, ass, what I’m going to be
when I grow up.
You should message me if
your lower body resembles
these buffalo wings I once ate
that were so plump and tender
they should have been wrapped
in sweatpants that say
Juicy on the back.
Girls often notice
my pecs, biceps,
symmetrical facial features
bone structure, crotch, etc.,
and guys, their feeling of envy.
I’m really good at
all. You should message me if
you like a man with a few rough edges
and won’t secretly plot
to smooth them out the whole time.
Do you feel like you can write well?
For a white girl
you look like a decent rapper.
You look pretty gangsta
for a white girl.
Can I sleep with you?
It would really help.
I could never do without
water, it’s so pure.
Do you love hot sex?
Hello there.
You have some very atypical pictures, hello.
Hey! You look like you like to have fun.
What are your days like?
I’m just hanging,
going swimming whether summer or winter,
taking trips to tropical places,
going out to eat.
I’m diligently striving
to live a life of true purpose
and trying to find
true purpose while I’m at it lol.
There’s a grammar mistake
I your what am I doing
with my life section.
You could probably create
a killer erasure
if you were stuck in a cave
with all the food and water you needed.
I always love to see other people's
creative processes, so forgive me
for what I imagine will be
the start of a barrage of questions,
but what inspires you to write?
Who/what has influenced your style
and, I guess, to a further extent,
the principles that guide your writing?
I'm constantly making simple, overlapping
generalizations about life as a whole
in an attempt to actively examine
the world as I pass through it.
I'm always focused on something or another.
You should message me if
1. You’re not shy
2. You like coffee
3. You've got a great personality
and you want me to know it.
My humor is dry as a dessert
but my moves are sleek as silk.
I love bad puns, cities, and life in general.
I was also on Jeopardy once, as a subject.
So, take that as you will.
I'm a huge Velvet Underground fan.
I saw Lou Reed live in 2007,
he played Femme Fatale,
and I was the only person in the audience
to sing along.
I could never do without thoughts,
Science, Kindle, Beaches,
Friends, Beer, The Atlantic,
The Economist, The Liberal Elitist, Skylines.
Honestly, I'm having troubles
putting my life into a confined box.
It tears at my values of being human.
Hi there!
I’m enjoying my life
through and through.
I’m a city person.
Good morning.
I just visited your profile.
I don't know you anything
special or important to say.
I’m a great guy if you get to know me
but mostly pissed off lol.
Ever been with
two European guys?
Would you be open
to an ongoing, casual relationship?
Your profile is very intriguing.
Artists are a dying breed it seems.
Welcome, stranger.
Have you ever used the word
dreamy to describe someone?
I used to live on a road
named after you.
It was a beautiful place
that Google maps couldn’t find
where I could wander out into the yard
almost every afternoon.

________________

Note: “Emily,” is built from messages and profile excerpts found and received on OkCupid and Tinder in 2015.